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Birds and the Bees – HELP!

  So, I was picking up G Man (aged 6) from school last week and I happened to mention that I was going out as soon as we got home to pick Hiccup up from the vets. Why is Hiccup at the vets G Man asks. Well, I say, we took him in to have an operation. What sort of operation? Hiccup is having an operation so that he cant have any baby cats I tell him confidently, feeling that was going to be the end of the conversation. *ten seconds silence* Mummy, how do cats have babies? *cue...
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101 Positions, 102 Excuses.

How much time do you get Home Alone?? I got half a day about three months ago and I was so excited I spent the entire time cleaning our house FFS!!! Before that it was before G-Man was born, so about five and a half years ago. Serious. I have come to the conclusion that its not healthy. Our sex life is suffering.  I initially put it down to the exhaustion that comes with having kids, I’m sure you all know what I am talking about, where your bed is more attractive than your partner. But Master J has...
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A C-String kind of problem….

Since having the kidlets, my underwear wardrobe went from sexy G-Strings to daggy boy legs. Does that sound familiar to you all? When you have had all, and I mean ALL your lady bits hanging out there for childbirth, somehow the security and support of extra material was desirable and even the thought of wearing a G now makes my buttocks clench. How times have changed. Anyway, I decided last week to go and buy some new knickers that met my past self halfway, and purchased a triple pack of some not unlike these pictured below. I can fit...
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Dangling the Proverbial and oh-so Sexy Carrot

So Mr Point Five and I were watching Sunrise the other morning and they had a segment on wives using sex as a reward for their husbands for doing various chores around the home. I was looking over at hubby who was avidly watching the segment with a look of both abject horror and defeat on his face. I said to him See honey? You’re not the only poor bastard husband who has to earn his pleasure. There are enough of you to warrant an entire Sunrise segment   Now I know some of you may look pityingly on...
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The fish that got away.

BLOG RATING Mature Adults. I don’t have many regrets in my life. I figure that even the things that we have failed at we can learn from and the lessons learned make us a stronger and better person. But as I enter my 40th year in life I do have an adults only regret – I have yet to have a threesome and I reckon my time is pretty much up to experience one.  I was proffered once in a nightclub about 15 years ago but I was sooo not prepared and I took off giggling.  Dumb, dumb, dumb. Now don’t get me...
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The night that could have been…..

Mr Point Five got home yesterday after being away for a week. SO you know what that means when the kids go to bed. Yep, a bit of the old horizontal sheet boogy. He had a shower and a shave. I slipped into my non-floral/flanny nightie and the kissing had JUST started when…… RING RING……RING RING. I knew who it was and I had to answer. My poor Mum has been in hospital for about 4 weeks now and I talk to her every day when she goes in, which is a common occurrence.  It isn’t an option – if I don’t speak with...
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Pregnant excuses.

Disclaimer: NO I AM NOT PREGNANT! My husband needs one of these T-Shirts when I am pregnant. My biggest stuff up was going to an ATM and withdrawing $200. At least that was my intention. What I actually did was put my card in, entered my pin, requested $200, collected my card and walked away without the cash, leaving it as a bonus for the person behind me in the queue. It wasn’t until I went back to my waiting husband and he asked for his half that I went “Doh” (well, not exactly Doh) and turned back to the ATM...
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