So Mr Point Five and I were watching Sunrise the other morning and they had a segment on wives using sex as a reward for their husbands for doing various chores around the home.
I was looking over at hubby who was avidly watching the segment with a look of both abject horror and defeat on his face.
I said to him See honey? You’re not the only poor bastard husband who has to earn his pleasure. There are enough of you to warrant an entire Sunrise segment  :)
Now I know some of you may look pityingly on our marriage and shake your heads at the games we play, but seriously, its the only way I can get Mr Point Five to do stuff some days. I have said before that marriage is like a dance – you have to steer each other in the direction you want to go and if dangling a carrot or two to get him headed there happily is necessary, well…….
Hell – Everybody Loves Raymond has more than a few episodes dedicated to this very concept.
See the picture above?? That’s a smart woman who gives her hubby a night of satisfaction BEFORE she takes him out shopping. He will still be fondly remembering the night before as she is trying stuff on and handing over the credit card.
*bookmarks this move for future reference*
My hubby knows that he has an infinitely better chance of getting lucky if I am not being led to the bedroom with dishpan hands. In fact, if I can utilise this time to have a hot shower sans toddler then I tell you….its sin city in our bedroom that evening :)
Oh, and for the record boys, you cannot perform a household task during the day and bank the brownie points for later when the wife has to go out for the evening or its her time of the month . It doesn’t work that way. The loving gratitude that the wife feels has a very specific time limit – usually once we have slept, the momentum has passed. You cannot expect to fart, roll over, tap me on the shoulder and say Hey, remember last week when I mowed the lawn…..nuh-uh.
So the Sunrise segment finishes and hubby turns sweetly to me and says
Honey, if you will cook dinner tonight for me and do the dishes I shall reward you with seven and a half minutes of pure pleasure.  Is that how this thing works??
Ummmmm, no sweetie it doesn’t, its a one-way street, wives only.
But hats off for trying. Just keep your pants on will you??
Here is a free printable chart I made – feel free to print it out and stick it on your fridge for your hubbies.