The Grinch who stole Mothers Day
Mothers Day on facebook sucks balls.
Every single mo-fo year from 6am I am SWAMPED with vomit-worthy instagrammed the shit out of pictures of florist delivered flowers, flowers handpicked from the garden if you are blessed with a garden like BabyMac,
crumbs breakfast in bed helped by doting Dads, and presents lovingly thought out and not so secret squirrel shopped the day before. Seriously, my coffee pretty much curdles before I get to drink it, its that cringeworthy.
Cringeworthy because we go to so much effort to keep up with the Jones’ so the speak. We try to out-do each other on our facebook wall of PERFECTION.
Look at my flowers, look at my presents, look at my family, look at my perfect LIFE, look at moiye.
Shoot me now – I am truly awful for those of you who have the perfect Mothers Day lined up. Move on and enjoy it – nothing to see here.
Yes, yes, yes I am the Mothers Day Grinch.
Happy Hallmark Mothers MoFo Day to me.
Where is that sarcasm font?
So after THIS meltdown from two years ago, I decided that as nobody else was going to spoil me as per all society expectations, I would damned well spoil myself!
Today, Mothers Day eve, I bought myself a bunch of white Lilliums (at woolies as there is no florist in our small country town), TWO actual bottles of wine to
commiserate celebrate my solo parenting over the weekend and I soaked up G Man’s Mothers Day Afternoon Tea that was organised at his school yesterday.
Watching his little face simply beaming with love and pride as he served me, his VIP, at his Book Cafe brought me such joy.
How blessed am I? Look at that FACE. This is perfection. Worth more than florist flowers, token breakfasts or cheesy gifts.
I don’t need a store-bought DAY when I have this beauty every day!
Mothers Day for me now is just a simple appreciation of being a Mother; its a slack-arse day with me and my boys doing what we like, fitting in around Mr Point Fives roster and sharing all the love and kisses in the world.
Last night I got about five hours sleep after taking Master J up to the hospital around midnight with bad croup. I am ratshit tired today. Tomorrow I will wake up on my own with the boys, hopefully after a better nights sleep tonight, but you can never tell with croup. Wish us luck – its a scary, scary thing. Mr Point Five has always worked the Saturday night before until the wee hours on Mothers Day morning and will again be sleeping until around 10ish.
I will get up at sparrows fart and get Master J the morning hot chocolate that he loves and G Man will have his usual apple juice. Then after I have had my two coffees I get toast for the three of us and we do our usual morning “thing”. I will give my dear Mum a call and wish her a Happy Mothers Day. Mr Point Five will stumble out of bed mid-morning and if he hasn’t gotten any overtime the night (his “clients” LOVE ruining special occasions) before we will head to the Pub in the neighbouring town for lunch that I have booked for us. NB: These plans will be scrapped if he arrives home much after 2am as it will be more torturous to head out with him in that condition. If we make lunch out, we will need to leave by 130 at the latest though for Mr Point Five to get to work around 2pm as his week of afternoon shift winds back, leaving me solo with the boys for dinner and the witching hour.
I will eat dinner, prolly eggs on toast, with the boys at 5pm like normal, get them bathed and into bed by 7pm. I will spoil myself with actual bottled wine (get OUT of here!!) and maybe a chick flick movie whilst appreciating and having the odd sniff of the flowers I bought myself on the kitchen bench.
I know I am lucky to be a Mother and I don’t need a special day to celebrate it.
My boys love me every day and I know that.
Happy Mothers Day to all the Mums out there, the Hallmark ones or ones like me.
I hope you simply make the most out of this day, like I am.
We all rock the shit out of this job
Do you have awesome Mothers Day plans to share? Are you a cringeworthy Hallmark family? Will you share a bucket with me? Do you fly by the seat of your pants like we do?
Will you be drinking wine solo with me?
What movie should I watch?