Yesterday we took the kids to the Circus
I was going to go on my own with the pair of them but fortunately Mr Point Fives roster changed at the last minute and we could go as a family of four.
All I can say is Thank Christ his roster changed and What the heck was I thinking, contemplating taking them on my own?? Insanity!!
We get there, find our seats and immediately THAT SMELL starts to permeate the air. I had done a nappy change of Master J in the carpark before we came in but NOOOOO, that would have been too convenient if he had managed number 2’s then as well.
The toilets (you know the ones at a local sports ground, concrete, old and smelly??) were located about 500m away so I left hubby with G Man and snuck around the corner behind our seats under the grandstand and did a stealth nappy change there. Trouble was, it wasn’t a number 2 – it was a number 3, all over his shorts as well. And I hadnt bought a back up pair. Fark. I thought the smell might not be too bad so I cleaned up as well as I could and redressed him. Got back to our seats and hubby says “What is that smell? Thought you changed him??” Ah crap. Tried to take his shorts off and major meltdown ensued.  What nearly two year old feels shame at nakedness? He would get about all day at home in a nappy if I let him and yet here he has to be fully clothed?? Sheesh. 
Put shorts back on.
Smells so gross.
Take shorts off.
Screaming.
Oh well.
Sorry fellow Circus goers – it won’t last long and the clean air is worth it.
Then at 10 to 1, (show starts at 1pm) G Man leans in and says to me “I need Poo Mummy”
Are you serious???
I leave Master J with hubby and race G Man to the aforementioned toilet block – seriously, Usain has nothing on a Mother with a toilet call in public. I will give G Man credit though – it was the quickest poo in history, and for those of you with little boys, you will appreciate the enormity of that, when toilet time is usually the social highlight of their day.
So we got back into the tent at 12.59pm and sit down.
(can you imagine that scenario sans hubby?? – Ugh.)
Copyright 2010 Moscow Circus Au
The dude above was the first act – the MC if you like – and we nearly had to leave with G Man just about in tears. He was tall and grumbly, and there were monsters and people dressed as wild animals. The lights were down and there was dry ice and glow in the dark things as well – pretty scary stuff for a wide eyed 4 year old who was gathering into hysterics. It was touch and go for a few minutes as hubby and I exchanged “This had better be a good meltdown for us to walk out on our $160 worth of tickets”. Poor kid – prolly scarred him for life cos we didn’t want to waste money.

Copyright 2010 Moscow Circus Au
But the second act were these cute buggers (the only real animals of the entire show) which saved the afternoon. Master J was besotted and after they left he kept asking where the horsies were. Horsey gone???
After 10 minutes of the equivalent of toddler nagging and having ascertained that they weren’t coming back he promptly fell asleep on my lap and slept for 90 minutes until the last act which was the motorbikes in the Globe of Death. I would have been worried if he slept through that! By this time my right butt cheek was totally numb and I had a headache from hell – those unforgiving ringside seats were expensive but not padded!

My little sleeping beauty and G Man

Yes, that is a man leaping through the hoop on fire :)

Copyright 2010 Moscow Circus Au

The Globe of Death – FIVE motorbikes whizzed along inside this at the same time – I actually had my mouth open catching flies – it was an awesome finale! Both boys were gobsmacked.
Overall we had a OK day, toilet mishaps aside – there weren’t as many animals as I had hoped for, actually, it was just the ponies, quite disappointing for the kids whose books at home were filled with circus animals. I’m not sure if it is Australian rules now regards to Circus Animals and the conditions etc but I don’t think I will be taking the boys again until they are 7 or 8 – they just didn’t appreciate the trapeze and the stunts as much as the tickets cost. In face, G Man was quite nervous about all the fierce costumed performers for the most part. The clowns were funny and they did the traditional drag some poor shmuck from the crowd to embarrass. 
Again, not humour that small children get.
I DID however appreciate very much the fine specimen who showed us to our seats and was a (very buff) stage hand throughout the show – I couldn’t very well get him to pose for a desperate SAHM eye candy picture, but he was a dead ringer for John Leguizamo below. LUSH.

Anyway that was our trip to the circus. Can I get free tickets and a psychology appointment for my eldest next time for such a stellar write up???