What to do with the Brazilian??
I have an X rated problem.
My problem is that I am going to be the big 4 Zero next year….
….and I have a brazilian that I don’t know what to do with.
It started in my mid twenties when I decided I had had enough of this….
and this during bikini season….
So I manicured and trimmed and ended up like this…..
Then in my late twenties I thought this would be cool……
Then in my early 30’s, with a husband (now ex) hooked on meth and porn I got desperate for him to notice me and did this….
Felt more than a little naughty I can tell you.
The upkeep is simple – I do it at home (no waxing, you think I am INSANE??) and I still like the look and so does Mr Point Five. But honestly he wouldn’t care what I did down there – he is not a man who is fussed on the packaging, just what’s inside for his benefit 🙂
BUT – surely there is an age where a sexy brazilian just doesn’t cut the mustard in the bedroom?
Surely there comes a time where the feminine droop is best kept hidden??
I mean, you dont want to see THIS….
….with the equivalent of the Sahara Plain down below do you???
Then there is the practical problem of how to leave the South American country.
I have been away and forgotten my razor a few times and can I TELL YOU, the insane itching of the regrowth after just three days would make even the staunchest of ladies cave to the blade again.
Its like pash rash down there without the fun.
When is the best age to bow out of the brazilian race??
And how do I go about handing in my passport when the time comes???
Ha ha! I was just having this conversation with my husband the other day. I have been waxing for at least 12 years now and the problem I have is if I leave it, it is all patchy and looks, well, odd! Like a balding badger if you will. The reason I thought I should stop is because of my daughter. She is only 5 now but I would hate for her to hit puberty and think that she has to do something about her nether regions because she has seen that mine is hair free. What to do? I love the use of your hedge pictures. Very funny!
Very true Suzanne – I dont have a daughter but I would hate for my boys to say to their girlfriends in the future “well my Mum does it, so why dont you?” Poor girls!!
I gave up waxing years ago…I’m more like a Wookie in drag these days 😉 Welcome to the soon-to-be naughty forties 🙂
OMG!!! I don’t even know where to start w/o actually writing a damn book in your comments!! I love the use of the “bushes” and I choked thinking about Granny’s Sahara Plains. But Suzanne’s “balding badger” did me in…and seriously made me laugh til I cried.
Don’t know if you already read my ramblings…but stop by at http://graceful-disaster.blogspot.com/ when you have a chance. TGIF!!!
Will pop over now and have a gander – thanks for reading mine 🙂
Hahaha I’m 28 with the Brazilian. I never even thought about what I’ll do when I’m 40. Sh*t. When you reach a decision let me know for the future. My young self (hehe sorry to be cheeky) says you should rock it for as long as you’re happy with it 🙂 It’s no-one’s business but yours – it’s not like it’s going to be out on show for everyone to point and say, “Wow – she’s way too old for that!”
🙂
This is HILARIOUS!
Thank you for the laugh this morning! I loved the pictures 🙂 I can’t even imagine waxing–I’ll stick to shaving!
This is very informative for a Dude like me. I’m gaining a lot of insight into modern female thought processes. Let us know how this all turns out.
The pictures are PERFECT! I’ve only been to Brazil (speaking literally for a moment) once, and everyone, including the grandmas, were wearing tiny bikinis. I started to wonder what they did with their … topiary, but my mind just wouldn’t go there (I was a 20-something at the time – now my mind has been to all the scary places).
As for when you leave Brazil (figuratively), if you’re happy in that country, I don’t think you should have to leave. It’s not like the area is on display to the public, so it’s up to you. And, it really does make a difference with le sexytime – why lose that? There are enough things that suck about turning 40 (I just did a few months ago). If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Maybe before you have to go live in the retirement home would be a good idea, but that’s a long way off.
If you do decide to regrow, I wonder if there’s at least a product you could use to deal with the itching during regrowth. Something with a topical anesthetic? There’s a cream called Bikini Zone that works well after waxing – maybe that would help?
For now, though, relax and have a caipirinha!
O.M.G. I never thought of this, and now you have stressed me out. Thanks alot! Hahaha but seriously I have no idea so I am just going to forget I ever read this. BUT I am going to follow your blog to make up for it!
The hubs had to see what I was cackling about this morning. This is HILARIOUS!!!! The pictures make it. The writing it fabulous, but without the pictures on this one….Great job and thank you for the laugh!!
I loved it! I think you shouldn’t worry about what you ‘should’ do and do what you want to do!
This is so funny! Lol. My 40+ friend told me not to get too happy with the waxing as there comes a time when things get a little droopy and you want some coverage. Just sayin’!
Ha! Only just read this. I have had IPL and now am left with a permanent landing strip . I figure in years to come it will be the new norm for older folks who grew up with permanent hair removal options, so all good! Nothing like being the “cool” nanna.
My wife had a Brazilian and recently stopped , at 42 she didn’t see the need. Honestly I much preferred it before. We all get older , and saggier …. I love her as she ages gracefully. Plus no one needs pubes in their teeth 😉 lol
Thank you so much for sharing this post with us, It’s great 🙂
Excellent. Absolutely loved reading and very helpful at the same time 🙂