So, anyone who follows me on facebook will know that Mr Point Five has gone away for two nights, three days for his work.  Five years ago I would have been devastated (we would have still been in our first year of courtship, you know all the lovey dovey stuff “how will I survive without sharing your air”? etc etc barf barf.) but five years and two children later I have discovered that there are some perks to having hubby away.

1. You get to drift off to sleep with no snoring monster next to you, who is as hot as Vesuvius and has to have the air con blasting down on him (ergo = you as well) in the middle of freaking winter. And for those of you who know me well, yes I am well aware I snore too (much, much worse in my last trimesters) but I don’t get the luxury of being able to use earplugs as ONE of us has to be able to hear the kids!

2. You get to starfish COMPLETELY in the king size bed and bonus points if the kids need to co-sleep in the night you can bring them back to your bed instead of setting up the sofa bed in the toy room – ooomph.

3. There are no dirty black work socks crawling up like dying caterpillars under the computer desk in the family room

4. You can make caramel slice (which I did this afternoon stat) and know that the 17 pieces that were there when you went to bed will still be there in the morning.

5. I was going to put “being able to exist in a fart-free environment” here but G Man gave me his first Dutch oven whilst I was snuggling with him when Master was napping this afternoon and the dogs butt has just been viscous today! My Lord!!

6. I can eat rare salmon for dinner, or asparagus on toast with hollandaise, or pasta carbonara all of which hubby hates and I love

OR

I can even have bargain bin easter eggs and wine for dinner and no-one will know! JOY!!!!

7. I can lounge in my PJ’s all day for three days guilt free – as long as the house is relatively ship-shape by Thursday 5pm its all good – well I may have to get changed for the school drop off but the other mothers will get to know and love me for who I am soon I am sure :)

this is me – really it is. Serious. And that is so my bed. And the flowers.

Of course I do miss my loved one, cos the above seven points are nowhere NEAR heaven are they??.

Cough cough, really I do,

Reasons I miss my Mr Point Five when he is away (better make it seven hadn’t I?)

1. I miss him telling me that he loves me and that I am gorgeous several times a day. I am lucky like that, I know :) Feel free to vomit now. But serious, he is a sweetie like that.

2. I miss his arms……when I have Master J in the shower with me and he is ready to get out. Its “HONEY – can you come get J out of the shower?? I have SUDS!!!” Awesome arms. Trying the get Master J dry and in a nappy before he wee’s on the bedroom carpet is always an unenviable task when you are naked and have suds in your hair.

3. I miss the tag team thing we have going when Mr Point Five is home at dinner time. When the kids have finished dinner, one of us gets the bath run and kidlets in and the other gets the high chair and table wiped down (and dog fed, coincidently). Its a bum job when you are on your own.

4. I miss his god-damned computer cos it has all our freaking shows on it that I love to watch when the kidlets are in bed!!!!!!

5. Oh crap – just thought of another plus. Its awesome that I get guilt free blogtime when he is away. Maybe if I throw it in here it will look like it is a number 5 plus for him.

6. I would like to say I miss the sex but I would be lying. We rarely have sex even when he is at home. We are hoping by 2014 it may get better and we can get off the once a week (awesome) to twice a week (if you are feeling uber-lucky) scale.

7. Adult conversation – I miss that. Lots. Maybe I should pick up the phone. Hmmmmmmmm. Nah.

Anyway.

Its twenty to nine and I can hear the deluxe sound of my bed calling and I have no-one to impress. PLEASE Master J, be nice to your Mummy tonight. I wont tell Daddy. It will be just our secret that you slept for 12 hours tonight………

HAH!!!!!!