So I was surfing facebook this morning and a status by Kerri Sackville popped into my feed.
“Research question for an article I’m writing:
If someone wants to be your friend but you don’t wish to pursue the friendship, do you feel a bit guilty? Do you say ‘no thanks’ or do the whole ‘sure, let’s catch up’ and then never follow up thing????“
See their answers here.…
All of a sudden I felt like crying. THIS was what was happening to me, I was sure of it.
We moved to this town five months ago and yesterday I was invited on my first playdate. Since moving I have made “facebook friends” with a few of the Mums and after a few conversations on fb and at school pick-up, nothing has eventuated. In fact one of them, a fellow blogger up this way who I was really looking forward to meeting IRL actually replied to my invitation of a coffee/play date with “Hi Lisa Thanks for the invite, but I’ve got lots on my plate right now, so I’m going to decline. Hope your kids have a great year at school.”
Seriously, hope your kids have a great YEAR. Wow. Talk about a blow-off!! After messaging with a “Have I done something to upset you? Is everything OK, are you alright??….” and getting no reply, I instantly unfriended and thought no more of it. Her loss, I thought.
A few of the Police wives on the opposite team have tried to organise a scrapping night but for a few months now, but it keeps getting postponed and cancelled due to sickness and bad timing. I get that these things cant be helped but after reading all the replies to Kerries post today it got me filled to the brim with self doubt, and that is something I have NEVER felt before. I was all like, its not me, its just bad timing, and whilst deep down I know that this is true, I am having a rough day today believing it.
Small country towns are clicky. Especially the farming ones I am discovering. Farmers are busy people. A lot of people have lived here all their life; they have their friends already so why would they need more, especially ones who are transient and will most likely not be here in 12 months time. The people at work are lovely and I really appreciate the adult company they provide but they have their lives on the weekend with friends and family of their own and I do not wish to intrude. The Mums at school are friendly enough. Some I have thought are more than that, really lovely actually and I have thought I would love to get to know you better, but all I get is a smile and a wave and a How was your day?, but none are forthcoming with outside-of-school activities. To be honest after being the new person who is constantly making the effort and trying to reach out, I am pretty much ready to give up and admit defeat. Its their town and I am trespassing.
I just don’t think I was meant to make a good friend or two in this town.
And that’s OK. It’s not our forever town and I am tougher than that; I will be content with what I have.
If you lower your expectations you cannot be disappointed.
…..but today I am disappointed. Honestly, lovely people, never take your real friends for granted!
I miss my IRL friends so much.
Sorry for the woe-is-me post but once again, its just me and the boys at home on our own in our not-so-new town whilst Mr Point Five works.
Moving towns all the freaking time sucks balls; this is our fourth town in under six years and I am tired of the effort required to make friends.
Where would I be without my cyber buddies? Note to self: send Mark Zuckerberg a Thank You, You Rock card.