Mega Bloks is NOT Lego
For the uninitiated MOB’s or Halo minded girls, a word from the wise. From the blistered fingered and jagged fingernailed wise mother who made a mistake out shopping last week.
MEGA BLOKS is not LEGO.
Now, it is cunningly disguised as LEGO and to cast an idle eye over it, it certainly pulls the deception off, but don’t let it fool you. Don’t be sucked in by its knobbly likeness. This fucker is NOT Lego and you will curse your decision to let it into your house.
THIS is LEGO – see, where it says LEGO in the top left hand corner?
These are LEGO instructions; simple, elegant and precise. The pieces are smooth and click together smoothly.
G Man is 6 and can assemble LEGO unassisted designed for 8-12 year olds.
Buying LEGO means I can have a 2 hour break and a cuppa whilst G Man does it all by himself
THESE are MEGA BLOKS instructions…..for lack of a better word. Mind-fuckedness is another one for it. Seriously. Just don’t. You need to have a degree in spacial relativity and you WILL break all your fingernails on the nasty, nasty pieces which do NOT always click together. The illustrations will have you wishing you had a spotlight as your dining room overhead light and reaching for glasses you don’t have.
I am 41 and struggle to work out WTF they want me to do.
Buying Mega Bloks means G Man gets very frustrated WATCHING me do it for two hours with no cuppa tea in sight. Does. My. Head. In.
Look at all the Happy though.
Dear LEGO people,
Can someone from LEGO please take on the HALO construction rights??
Love, a mentally challenged MOB who is now in desperate need of a manicure, a becks and a lie down.