Night-time shenanigans…

You know when you wake in the night and you think you need to go to the loo?

 But you don’t want to get up cos you are almost asleep and if you get up you wont be almost asleep so that’s a problem cos you want to be asleep.

So you test the waters so to speak and do the controlled squeeze, you know, just to see exactly how much you need to go… You know what I mean, I’m sure.

Then you realise that you should be OK until morning and you roll over and try to go back to sleep.

But by that time you are aware of your semi-full bladder and you waste precious sleep by performing the constant squeeze test with every move, just to make sure you don’t really have to go.

Then you decide to pull the doona up and jam it right up between your legs to dissipate the sensation; yes this works, try it next time you have the semi urge to pee in the night.

This staves off the calling bladder for a while but 30 minutes later you are awake again and doing the squeeze test.

It becomes all you can think about you realise you should had just gone to the damned toilet when your first woke up 45 minutes ago.

But then you become stubborn with yourself and mentally refuse to get out of bed, just because your bladder is toying with you; I mean you’re weren’t busting or anything, just aware that you may need to go, not now, but soon.

You try to sleep.

You cannot sleep.

You are determined to stay in bed – damned your bladder, it will not win. You know if you get out of bed you will be awake and the bladder wins – who are you kidding yourself, you have been awake for the better part of an hour in denial with your eyes closed arguing with yourself. Madness.

You then decide that you will show your bladder who is boss and go to the toilet.

Who is your bladder to dictate when you go to the toilet? I’ll show you, you think.

You get up and stumble to the toilet, what you should have done an hour ago.

You get back to bed and feel both triumphant and relieved at your empty bladder and uber annoyed at how it lost you an hours worth of sleep.

You are now lying wide awake in bed thinking of all the things.

You eventually fall asleep.

EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.

All the stubbornness.