Choose Happiness
I remember reading a facebook status by another mummy blogger a few months ago about her saying just how frustrating the time of day between dinner and bedtime is and how it was completely doing her head in. She was just about to lose it with not being able to do anything she wanted to do and was just willing the clock to say it was bedtime for the kids.
I remember nodding and sympathising, cos it shits me too a lot of the time too and then I had an parenting epiphany of epic proportions.
You just have to stop wishing you were doing something else and to just be in the moment with your kids.
Accept that they are not in bed and that you cannot do what you want with them up, and to simply embrace the moment instead of resenting it. Go play with them, sit with them, read with them and stop fretting over what you’re not doing.
I had a really good example lined up for here but just as I sat down to type this post, Master J says Mummy, I need to do a poo!! and I am expected to down tools and accompany him. I started off grumpy, following him with a stomp in my step, full of resentment; but then I realised that I could spend the five minutes being pissed off with the irrits at the toilet door, wishing I was here typing this and asking him if he was finished every 30 seconds OR I could spend the five minutes pulling funny faces with him and having some of our very serious albeit hilarious toilet conversations. Choosing your attitude makes a butt tonne of difference and when I sat down here afterwards I was in a good mood, having spent five fun minutes with my youngest instead of wishing those five minutes away.
We went out on Wednesday night, just to our local Country Club for an early dinner. By the time we got home, got the boys bathed, teeth cleaned, stories read and into bed, my favourite TV programme of the minute has just started. I was grumpy to have to miss the beginning of it as normally the kids are well into bed by the time it starts, and I started rushing through my regular song that I usually love to sing to the boys, with resentment filling in me that I was once again missing out of doing what I wanted to be doing because of the kids. Then I stopped, mentally slapped myself and accepted that despite my attitude, I was going to miss the first five minutes. I could either be foul about it and ruin my boys bed-time song or I could embrace the moment and have five minutes of cuddles and precious butterfly kisses whilst I sang to them. It was my choice, and I chose to be happy in those five minutes. It was liberating 🙂
I know it’s hard when your entire day is made up of running around after the kids, keeping the kids happy, doing stuff for the kids and basically putting your wants last all freaking day, and by 6pm you have had enough. But if you kids are awake and need you, there is nothing to be done but to suck it up and get on with it. Time is what it is and you cannot change that – but you can change the grace you use it with. The days of childhood are long, but the years are short. Try to stop wishing you were doing something else and embrace the moment.
Choose Happiness.
That is all.
Love this post Lisa. So true. Going to share with hubby, because when he is actually home it’s nice to have some help, but there’s always a phone call to make, and it ends up not being any help at all!
Yes! Being realistic about what you can actually get done helps, too. For most of us that would mean dividing our to-do list by about 5.
It is so hard to remember sometimes isn’t it, especially at 5pm when everyone is getting tired and cranky. I actually let Miss 5 watch a DVD after school lately which calms her down and puts her in the right mood for the evening routine. Before she was born I am sure I would have thought that was babysitting now I think it is smart time out. I am less stressed and we enough our time more together!
Yes, yes, yes! I just wrote a related post on the importance of our self-talk!! Sometimes we need to talk ourselves into seeing and then choosing the happiness. Thanks for the great reminder. Jenni
You are very right and you write with good humour – it is hard, but we make it harder when we resent things (like the demands for food every five minutes) – although I still wish I could get mine to bed earlier – our 4 year old likes to keep up (and stay up) with his 10 year old sister, which doesn’t really work.
It is never an easy time of day. But in actual fact, one of the most critical. Going with the flow helps me through the tantrums at witching hour x
Yes, you are right! It makes such a difference to not only your day but the children’s as well. Your post is very inspirational!
xx
Awesome post Lisa you are so right, it is all about our choices and and how we choose to see things. Always lovely to be reminded of this, thanks
Leaving some belated fairy wishes and butterfly kisses from #teamIBOT
I like this – Time is what it is and you cannot change that – but you can change the grace you use it with.I need to remember that we need to be gracious with our children too. Thanks!
Wow that hit a little close to home!
Thanks for this. Definitely something I need to get better at.
EssentiallyJess recently posted…Mad About Bridget 2. The Across Australia Edition #IBOT
You are completely right! We do have to embrace the moment. I’m often wishing parts of the day away especially the good old witching hour, but sometimes when I totally lose myself in the moment with the kids the time does fly by. Thanks for the smile this evening 🙂 I especially liked your use of the word ‘irrits’ I haven’t heard that for ages. Must use it more!
Well written Lisa & I certainly need to take a leaf out of your book. Going to do this from hereon in. Thank you 🙂
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You were in our house last night when I was racing everyone off to bed so I could watch RHOM werent you 😉 very good advice lovely and I thank you for the reminder xx
Love this post. Just what I needed to read today. Thanks 🙂
This is oh so true Lisa and something I try to remind myself of every day. We can’t often control every situation, but what we can control is how we react to every situation, and how we choose to react can make all the difference. Love ya work!
Kylie Purtell recently posted…61-67/365 – Zee
We can’t choose how our day will go, but we can 100% choose how we’ll feel about it. Lisa, you’re a clever one. x
Thanks for the reminder, just what I probably needed today.