Jumping to Conclusions is not a Sport.
Yesterday on my page I posted a question from a reader about fringes and haircuts. It was for a laugh and I thought with over 3000 of you, we may get some good answers and some fun.
What I didn’t expect to get however was JUDGEMENT.
Judgement by a fellow reader of the person asking the question.
A conclusion drawn that from this question, the person asking was being silly, wasn’t doing anything worthwhile and should be at least volunteering their time at a more worthwhile cause.
My reader, without knowing ANYTHING about the person asking this question, drew her own conclusion and judged her.
Harshly.
Belittled her and made her feel poorly.
Shame.
Now, I actually know the person who initially asked this question. She is an elderly lady, living on her own and most days, doesn’t get out of her house. The internet and the people on the other side of it are some days her only companion and I love that in this day and age of technology, she can feel surrounded by her cyber friends without having to leave her house in great pain and discomfort. But when I read the judgement on her and the “waste of her time” comment I saw RED.
WHY must we judge each other when we really don’t know anything about each other in this cyber space?
This is the one thing I loathe about the internet.
Now, I’m not innocent in my judgement either. I have been known to leap to conclusions based on little known fact at times. But this, what was said on my page yesterday, has made me even more aware of it as a personality flaw of mine and everyday I try to remind myself to hold back on judging someone until I know them, their situation or see the bigger picture.
I think there is something in that for all of us, don’t you??
Be kind – to assume, only makes an ass out of u and me.
NB: I have removed the thread to protect peoples anonymity.
Well said Lisa, and I love the little thing you did at the end… to assume, only makes an ass out of u and me. Well done! Yes people are too quick to judge others and make assumptions. Everybody has their own worries and stresses going on in the background… be kind to one another!!
Stuck inside today and somehow ended up on the kidspot page. If you want to see the internet being disgusting go over to the comments section. There is a post by Chloe Maxwell on circumcision that has horrible comments. Most of the kidspot parent exchange posts have ugly comments. Why do it?
Not for ONE MILLION DOLLARS Alex!
xxx
Thanks for stopping by – yes, I was so sad to see her comment. People need to taste their words before they spit them out, dont they?
xxx
Well said. People are always looking for the worst in others and this saddens me. I am not perfect but I strive to be better at seeing the good. I at least think I know when to shut my big ol’ mouth haha. I am really sorry that people can be so ugly. What is life if we can’t have a bit of fun and frivolity to keep us amused (and sane) without being judged or told to be more serious? That’s not a world I want to be in. I hope your reader (who posed the question) knows how much support she has from those who don’t believe in the bullish*t. There’s always more to a person’s story and to make ugly, mean judgments straight off the bat says more about the person making the comment than it does the person who asks the question.
Wow, glad I missed the judgemental part of that status. It’s a shame that there is the steady stream of people who turn light hearted questions and comments into a post that needs to be deleted because of their single-mindedness. Lighten up and take it for what it is – A fun light hearted discussion about hair. Isn’t that something us women LIKE to talk about?
I never claimed to be perfect and I am well aware that being judgemental is something I need to work on. I do however believe that my judgement of the Reverend in question here that he acted despicably was spot on. Kudos for the apology and may he receive his forgiveness.
Well, I do, thats for sure! 🙂
grrrrrrr you know how I feel about judgment. All I can say is I am so glad I didnt get to see the thread. Good on you hun for deleting and trying to reduce the damage it caused the older woman. Please tell me it wasnt Virginia was it? She is such a sweetheart xx
No, not Virginia 🙂 I dont think the reader meant any harm but it just goes to show how a seemingly innocent and “helpful” conclusion can have hurtful consequences. Its something I know I need to be more conscious of, especially in this new cyber world of ours. xxx
I would have liked the same support when one of your readers went to town on a comment I made, responding with my own personal experience, to a direct question you asked on your FB feed.
As a RL friend, one who you know has been through testing times, I would have liked to be supported but rather discovered that nameless faceless readers were more important and I was thrown away.
I wonder, given some of your recent blogs have shown you might be starting to see why I held the opinions I did of “first world problems”, whether you ever miss me or think about my family and if we are well.
I think about you guys all the time and miss seeing the gorgeous faces of your boys in your pics.
Love to you all,
Monique