Yesterday I posted this status on my facebook page.

 

“Two Point Five Kids is of the opinion that sick husbands should be shipped off to a home for sick husbands until they are functioning.”

 

It was a big hit, with one reader suggesting they get sent back to live with their Mothers whilst they recuperate (what an AWESOME idea) and another reader saying she actually rang the hospital and begged them to readmit her husband after minor surgery as he was being such a sook at home.

 

Now I am not begrudging Mr Point Five getting sick. In fact, he had my full,  most of , all the sympathy I could muster when he had glandular fever last year.

My gripe today is the difference between when a Man and a Woman get sick.

Its just not FAIR – I completely lose my sense of humour when Mr Point Fives gets sick.

I become the resentful bitch from hell and on a scale of 1-10, my sarcasm metre is at about a 22.

 In fact, last night, I took myself to bed at 8pm, just because I couldn’t bear looking at him be sick.

Seriously, I did.

And he IS sick at the moment. He has put his neck out and can hardly move. I do feel bad for him and he deserves my complete sympathy and care but I cant. I just cant.

 I am a horrible wife.

He knows it.

He still loves me.

Makes me feel worse.

OK – this is why I feel this way.

So, we both get the same cold. Me first. Then him. This is what happens.

 I call in sick to work.

 Hang on, first I get up with the kids at 6.30am, pop some cold and flu’s, get them breakfast, get G Man dressed for school and pack his lunch. Hubby gets up to his alarm at 6.55am and leaves for his work at 8am. I call in sick to mine. Then I do the school run, pop past the post office and return home with Master J. I do the dishes from the night before and make myself some toast. I will prolly sit on the couch in the kids toyroom with master J crawling all over me and demanding drinks, lunch and needing a nappy change or two. I get up and do all of these. Pop some more cold and flu’s. At 3pm I will go and pick G Man up from school and unpack his bag when we get home. I organise the kids some snacks and make a cup of tea. Hubby will get home around 4pm if he is on a day shift, and he will sit on the computer or play with the kids until dinner. I cook dinner for all of us – hubby will say generously “don’t cook if you don’t feel up to it, I will look after myself (meaning he will raid the meat drawer and cook sausages) – great I say, what about me and the kids?? – not cooking isn’t an option in this scenario as I hate sausages. I will then get the bath run and the kids into their jim-jams. A soon as the kids are in bed, I pop some more cold and flu’s and go to bed.

 Hubby gets the same cold. I stress, the Exact.Same.Cold.

 Hears his alarm at 6.55am.

Calls out to me to ring his Boss and tell him he is sick.

Stays in bed until 9am.

Gets up and Does.Absolutely.Nothing.

That’s it.

I will do all the stuff above PLUS his jobs like take the rubbish out.

 

Its not FAIR *wails* and this is the reason I cant stand looking at him some days when he is feeling poorly. Seriously, there is pure venom in my eyes and I have to look away from my gorgeous, loving husband who would get me the moon if he could. Its not his fault he was blessed to be born male.

 I am just awful.

 I hate being so resentful when he is sick.

 

What gives Men the God given right to sit on their sick arse and do sweet FA when they are sick, expect to be waited on hand and foot, and then not even extend us a minuscule percentage of this privilege when we come down with the same bug??? Why can’t I just be sick like a man and revel in my sickness?

Do you think if men gave birth, squeezed a rockmelon through a hole the size of a grape that they would be up walking the next day, and looking after the household within a week like nothing happened?

Yeah – thought as much.

Shits me. Totally.

  

Anyway – whoever opens up a home for sick husbands to recuperate would make a million – just saying.

Anyone else become the bitch from hell when their partner is sick?