Bath Time is just not the same.

Do you remember bath time when you were single or in that honeymoon phase of a new relationship?

Candles, scented soaps, bubbles, lather, a good book maybe, soft music…….ahhhhhhhh.

What’s bath time like now??

For me it is run the bath complete with dinos, fish, turtles, octopus’s (octopi??), helicopters and elmo flannels, extract Jax from highchair and deposit into bath (he wont sit down, it real fun) and then find Geordie who has done a Houdini act and has disappeared (under his doona, not a hard find 🙂

 I get Geordie undressed and tell him that he needs to use the toilet cos its gross to wee in the bath. “No” is the answer.

“Go to the toilet or there is no dinner” “No”

“Go to the toilet or there is no dinner and no TV after your bath” “No”

“Go to the toilet right now young man or there will be no dinner, TV or eee-pad after dinner”

Geordie goes to the toilet and hops into the bath.

Then it is a battle to stay dry, usually unwinnable, as well as get faces wiped, behind ears, bums cleaned, watch Tyrannosaurus Rex eat numerous fish, stop Jax from drinking the bathwater, rescue man-overboard little people as well as keep taps from being turned on, turtles from falling out and stop sibling war as Jax manoeuvres clumsily around the tub and into enemy territory which G-Man is guarding with a dino.

THEN get G-man out and into a hooded dino towel and get Jax out and dry whilst stopping him eating the plug simultaneously.

I have tried to have an “adult” bath once since Geordie was born (before Jax) and it was a dismal failure. I pried the frogs, lily-pads and elmos off the side and saw all the grime and muck underneath – ewwww – had to soak them in bleach. Turfed out all the toys and got rid of the baby shampoos and stuff from the edge. Lit some candles and grabbed a mag.  Settled in and……..G starts crying. Nick is at work. I listen for a bit, he hasn’t cried after he has gone to bed for MONTHS and he chooses tonight.  Crying. More crying. I try to ignore and read my magazine. More crying. I hide under the bubbles, surely it will stop – my toes are clenched, so much for relaxing. Nope, I am beaten – I get out and dripping wet and wrapped in a towel I go in to G-Man, pick him up, give him kisses and cuddle him off to sleep, singing lullabies. My toes are uncurled:)