Suck it up Baby!
How do you vacuum??
I have a three tier system.
1. Stuff that MUST be picked up and put away(useful stuff that will be missed)/thrown in the bin as it is too big to vacuum. This stuff is annoying and I often test the limits of what the Dyson will or wont inhale as I am too lazy to actually bend over and pick it up. This step includes CARPERPETUATION – (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece or lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
2. Stuff that I can push with the vacuum cleaner (very gently so as to avoid sucking up) under the fridge and the couch. This is stuff that I deem to be still worthy and the kids use sporadically but wont miss until I do the twice yearly BIG clean up* Yes I really am that lazy.
3. Stuff that I think fu@k it, they don’t play with it, they wont miss it and vacuum it right up.
I tend to vacuum around stuff (chairs, power cords, large toys) without actually picking it up and getting in underneath. Or, if I can wangle it, I will move the object of angst with the vacuum and then replace as well. You CAN run into trouble with this method as there can be small objects that fall into the first tier that you really don’t want vacuumed (like jewellery or money, although I have been know to suck up small silver change – yes again, I really am THAT lazy). So be prepared to rummage through the bag if you chose this method.
*The big clean up happens the day before my Dad and his wife come down for a visit as I know our couch will invariably get looked under. Riddle me this. If you were to go over to a friends house and an object rolled under their couch would you a) immediately dive underneath it or (ye gads!) pull it away from the wall to retrieve said object or b) allow your friend some dignity and politely inform then about said object, thus letting them retrieve it when prying eyes have gone? Yeah – I thought so. Needless to say it is option A when my Dad witnesses something roll away from view into the cesspit under the couch/fridge so I have to get these places what I call “more that the regular guest ready”.
The kids get really excited when this day comes – its like a mini Christmas for them to see what’s under the couch. They often ask when it is not a designated big clean for Mummy to “move the couch” so they can see what hidden treasures are there. Actually, that sounds like a great pirate game with a treasure map for them with a big “X” marks the spot right on the couch. Might have to try that one rainy Saturday.
How do you vacuum??
OCD’s need not reply. I feel guilty enough already.