With Kids
Without the Kids
Getting ready to go out
Get myself ready
Get them out of their jim-jams
Let them choose their own clothes
Get them dressed
Get them redressed as they don’t like what they are wearing
Find clean matching socks
Get shoes on
Pack snacks and drinks
Make sure nappy bag has nappy
Get into car
Go back into house to change nappy
Get back into car
Wait 5 minutes for toddler to strap himself in
Choose movie
Argue about movie
Press play and throw the remote in the glovebox
44 minutes
Get myself ready
4 minutes
On the way there
Listen to “can I have a chocolate frog” for the entire 40km drive over the dulcet tones of Bugs Bunny at the same time as being told off for daring to sing along quietly to the radio
30 minutes
Listen to contemporary ADULT music, singing very loudly.
30 minutes
Doing the Grocery Shop
Wait 5 minutes for toddler to get himself out of car seat
Play chicken with the cars in the carpark
Find a trolley that is acceptable to 2 year old
Put both kids in the trolley
Listen to tanty
Take one out and leave the other one in
Move the one that is in from the trolley to the seat
Take that one out
Say no to repeated request for chocolate frog and give snack bag
Pick up snack bag from floor
Tell both kids not to touch things on the shelf, especially the F & V
Repeat above step for entire shop
Pick small one up and carry him whilst try to navigate full trolley
Lose shit and decide to only buy essentials
Get to check out and get asked how my day is going
Roll eyes
Go to car and wait 5 minutes for toddler to strap himself in
1 hour 26 minutes
Do the entire grocery shop, idly ambling up all the aisles humming contemporary adult song to self, whilst smiling knowingly at the parents of small annoying children.
36 minutes
On the way home
Repeat of “on the way there”
30 minutes
Repeat of “on the way there”
30 minutes
Unpacking the car
Wait 5 minutes for toddler to get himself out of the car
Unload the car of all shopping bags, making allowances  for “helping” toddlers and inevitable split bags
Dump all shopping bags on the kitchen floor
Get meat into fridge
Kids argue over what movie to watch Distract kids with chocolate frog
Unpack the rest of the groceries
Fall in a heap on the floor.
42 minutes
Go inside to be met with gorgeous “miss you Mummy” cuddles from kids whilst husband unpacks the car
Give kids chocolate frog
Unpack all groceries
16 minutes
Total time
Three hours 52 minutes
One hour 56 minutes