This is our G Man.

He is now rising six.

He is a little sweetheart, our good child, our angel.

He loves to have rules to follow and is eager to please. We have never had to discipline him, so very different to his little brother who is just plain mischief and pushes all our buttons!

He has severe dyspraxia which we initially thought was ASD and we had him assessed when he was three.

Some of the traits which led us to these thoughts were behaviours brought on by his inability to communicate  due to his dyspraxia; shyness, introversion, resilience to change, repetitive behaviour and other traits but most of these ironed themselves out when we got him into regular and intensive speech therapy.

He blossomed.

He is still a little reticent when he meets new people but he is gentle and eager to try to communicate now as his speech is improving; he is so very sweet and delicate, not a mean bone in his body and you just cant help fall in love with him and his beautiful soul.

Our G Man started Year one this year. We moved house just last November so he caught the tail end of last term.

He didn’t really make any friends but I wasn’t worried too much thinking he would start fresh this year with all the kids starting a new year together.

But after the second week I noticed the stories he would tell of his day didn’t involve other kids. I would ask him who he played with and he would say Nobody Mummy, I just played Star Wars by myself.

It broke my heart – thinking of my sweet angel all on his lonesome is a sea of kids his age. You feel so helpless at this stage of parenting, having to let them go at the school gate and trust they will be OK.

You discover heart muscles you never knew you had.

I talked to his teacher who said she couldn’t understand it, she said G Man was well liked in class in interacted well with the other kids.  She would keep an eye on him for me and let me know what was happening.

So on Tuesday night at home I received an email from his teacher who that day had found our little G Man all by himself eating his lunch in the undercover area whilst all the other kids were out playing. She sat down next to him and asked him why he wasn’t out playing too. He looked at her (she said he may have rolled his eyes at her) and explained very patiently that the rule was that you had to eat your lunch at the table and then when you had finished you could go and play.

Well that was the rule in Pre-primary, but not so in Year One and the trouble was, when he had finished his lunch, all the other kids had already established their game playing and he was too timid to muscle on in and just watched from the outside.

His teacher explained the new Year One rule to him and said he could take his lunchbox out into the playground with him. But what if I lose it, my worried gorgeous boy asked? I will remind you to bring it in, his lovely teacher said.

I read this email to Mr Point Five and as my voice wobbled, we both started welling with tears. Our angel, our baby boy. Had we failed him somehow? What could we have done differently? We both felt just awful and our hearts were heavy as we imagined our little boy sitting eating his lunch all by himself, confused as to why it was so.

We  went in and sat on his bed, looking at his innocent sleeping face and vowed to do better somehow, to protect him more, with no idea of how we could.


Doesn’t having children  just break you with emotion sometimes?

Oh, my HEART!

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