SO, we have been toilet training Master J for the past few months. I’m not a hard core toilet trainer, get it done in a week; I’m more of a show them what should be happening, reward them when they get it right and let them go at their own pace.
I have high hopes for this summer and lots of nappy free time outside :)Whilst Master J seems to be able to hold on to his wee’s and is bribable to do them in the toilet a lot of the time, we have had very limited no success for number two’s in the toilet. He knows where they need to go but has no inclination, despite promises of chocolate galore, to deposit them in the porcelain express.
Absolutely none.So I figure we are back to square one where I try to get him to at least tell me when he has got a stinker in his nappy – particularly useful when I have a cold and my Super-Mum powers of detection are letting me down.

Now both boys are well into Scooby Doo at the moment. I’m not sure when you last watched it but its freaking freaky with all the monsters, phantoms and scary creatures with flashing eyes and clawed hands chasing the Shaggy and the Gang. I don’t know how they watch it and sleep at night aged five and two.

So I thought with all their tolerance of Monsters I would invent a Monster of my own.

Introducing the Poo Monster.

Now, according to legend, the Poo Monster comes out when you have a poo in your nappy that you haven’t told your Mummy about. He is stinky, disgusting and really, REALLY gross.
I was going for the scare-factor and the assumption that the boys wouldn’t actually WANT to see the Poo Monster in all his poo-covered glory.
However, in all my imaginings, I had forgotten one simple fact. Whilst this may have worked if I had two GIRLS, I actually had been blessed with two BOYS. Two stinky, disgusting really, REALLY gross boys.
Two Words.
Can you guess how Master J reacted to the story of the Legend??
Mmmmmm – with a mixture of fascinated horror and glee.
Yes, my love?
So if I don’t tell you I have a poo, the Poo Monster comes?
Is he really gross?
Is he really smelly??
Can I meet him?
Only if you have a poo in your nappy and you don’t tell Mummy.
*hours pass*
*stinky smell*
Honey, have you done a poo?
Are you sure? I can smell something pretty bad….
Really? No poo?
You have. Come on, let me change your bum.
*sobbing hysterically*
No!!! I want to see the Poo Monster Mummy – he will be here soon.
Come on honey…
And THAT my friends is why Mummy’s suck at inventing Monsters for little boys.
Oh, and another tidbit for the uninitiated – never, EVER equate number two’s to looking like chocolate. In any form.
Yeah, I don’t know why I did it either.
Another bad Mummy moment.
Big mistake, HUGE.
You’re welcome.