A post brought to you by Toddler Tanty #167

A Toddlers Paradox  – a short story from the shops today. I have just done the weekly grocery shop.  The bags are loaded into the boot and the trolley is unceremoniously shoved somewhere in the vicinity of the trolley bay. G Man has let himself in the car and has buckled himself into his carseat and closed his door.  Yay for being Five. Master J has clambered into his carseat. I come around to buckle him in. He is struggling to shut the car door. NO MUMMY!!!!!! I SHUT THE DOOR!!!!! NOW!!!!! I explain that I need to strap...
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You asked for it – the Poo EXPLOSION!!!

So, yesterday there was poo. Lots of it. A plethora if you will. I don’t believe in much outside my existential being, but I DO believe the Poo Fairy was watching over me yesterday in the form of my husband. Let me explain…. I generally go to Albany (our nearest “shopping centre”, about 90km from home) once a week for G Man’s speech therapy. Whilst there I sometimes take the boys to Maccas for lunch afterwards. It has a good sized indoor play area (I’m sure you know the ones) and a McCafe that have Chai Lattes. Yum. I always do...
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Twas a week before Christmas…and I forgot my damned list!

What a Mind Fart of a day! Left home at 8:50am with the two kids, minus the husband, for the 90km drive to Albany for G Mans weekly speech therapy appointment at 10am. Also on the agenda is the entire grocery shop for Christmas Day, but I was smart – I had done a LIST comprising the menu and itemised and grouped into sections of the shop. Clever me. We also  had to stop by the grog shop for essentials as well as Spotlight because I wanted to make THIS! Spotlight is next to Officeworks and hubby needs a...
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TROUBLE with a capital J!

This little boy is trouble! Thursday nights in Cranbrook the Sports Club does Fish and Chips. Its the only place in town to eat apart from the pub which is overpriced and underspiced so we go every week if hubby isn’t working. Mr Point Five says its my “night off”  – isn’t he chivalrous??!? Now some may ask why I don’t just go with the boys, even if Hubby is working and to that I say  ARE YOU FREAKING CRAZY??? Do you not remember THIS from early this year??? Yeah well, he is still that same boy – TROUBLE – and I wouldnt go sans hubby if you...
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Toddlers guide to Making a total Arse out of his Mother

  So, ever since we got back from our holiday I have been struggling with sleep deprivation.   Master J had decided he would no longer sleep in his bed after three weeks of sleeping at his Mummas side, so we put him back in his bed, moved his brother to the toy room to sleep (little boys heaven) and started controlled crying.   Then, knowing that you aren’t supposed to do the whole mean mummy thing of letting your baby cry when they are sick he went and got himself tonsillitis.   Really Badly.     We rode it out...
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Mr Point Five: My Bad.

Here are my top three things that Mr Point Five currently does or has done under his new mantle of parent that make me shake my head with amusement, annoyance and total wet-my-pants laughter. 1. He never checks what’s in the nappy before he takes it off for the bath. Now to me this is common sense, not as a mother, or a woman, but as a PERSON WHO DOESN’T WANT TO GET POO ON THEIR HANDS AND EVERYWHERE ELSE. Maybe its because I am the chief nappy changer in the house and I have ESP when it comes to them...
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Ode to Pooh Bear.

At 6am, theres always Jax, Theres always Jax and Me. Where ever I am, he wants to be Are you in bed all snug and warm? Well that’s where I want to be says Jax That’s where I want to be. We snuggle and cuddle, Jax and Me Why hello Mummy he winks Thrice Eskimo kisses, one two three Warm arms around my neck In the bed all warm with you I say, That’s where I want to be Lets look for dragons I say to Jax Yes lets says Jax to me We searched the doona and found...
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The Cable Tie and the Little Blue Chair

Master J and his little blue chair are the bain of my existence….. I mean there is child proofing and there is Master J with his little blue chair proofing! Gotta love the tiptoes Righto – got my yoghurt, now where is that spoon??? Not allowed outside after my bath – I’ll show HER! Who me?????? Stealth mode BUSTED! Oh, you didn’t WANT the cutlery drawer and its contents all over the kitchen bench?? Butter… wouldn’t….melt Hmmmm, what’s that? Yep….can JUST reach it if I stretch with my trusty little blue chair! Oh wait, there is a fork in the knife drawer…needs attention. One blue...
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Moving House with Kids….

We move house in three days and there is so much to be done, the list is endless! Well, my list is anyway. The kids are oblivious and Mr Point Five has to work right up until the pre-pack day. Explaining the lingo – prepack is the day the movers come to the house and pack up all our stuff for us. Uplift is the day after when they come with the van and take it away (hubby doesn’t always get this day as a RDO)and Unpack is the day after when they arrive at our new house at...
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Too young for Bowls?

Hubby is going down to the Club (local Bowls, we live in a very small country town and it is the ONLY place to get a meal that you don’t have to cook yourself) tonight for a few drinks with a few mates. He should be home by 9pm as he is on a promise. Or home after 9pm, no promise, AND he gets up with the kids in the morning.  Chances are he will rock in past midnight, try the promise on for size, be sorely disappointed and then sleep in the spare room so he cant hear the kids...
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