A C-String kind of problem….

Since having the kidlets, my underwear wardrobe went from sexy G-Strings to daggy boy legs. Does that sound familiar to you all? When you have had all, and I mean ALL your lady bits hanging out there for childbirth, somehow the security and support of extra material was desirable and even the thought of wearing a G now makes my buttocks clench. How times have changed. Anyway, I decided last week to go and buy some new knickers that met my past self halfway, and purchased a triple pack of some not unlike these pictured below. I can fit...
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Conversations with Toddlers, or wait, was that a Goldfish??

    Having a conversation with a toddler is like how I imagine talking to a goldfish would be.   Master J finds a scallop shell from my pre-children gastronomic entertaining days.   Mummy, where is the crab from my shell? There isn’t a crab. No crab? No. *10 second pause* Mummy, come help me find the crab. There isnt a crab. Oh. *12 second pause* Mummy, where is the crab? My crab has gone! There ISN’T a (bloody) crab!! *goes to toilet* Mummy *pushes open the toilet door* Is the crab in the toilet?? No. Is he in...
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A post brought to you by Toddler Tanty #167

A Toddlers Paradox  – a short story from the shops today. I have just done the weekly grocery shop.  The bags are loaded into the boot and the trolley is unceremoniously shoved somewhere in the vicinity of the trolley bay. G Man has let himself in the car and has buckled himself into his carseat and closed his door.  Yay for being Five. Master J has clambered into his carseat. I come around to buckle him in. He is struggling to shut the car door. NO MUMMY!!!!!! I SHUT THE DOOR!!!!! NOW!!!!! I explain that I need to strap...
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Dangling the Proverbial and oh-so Sexy Carrot

So Mr Point Five and I were watching Sunrise the other morning and they had a segment on wives using sex as a reward for their husbands for doing various chores around the home. I was looking over at hubby who was avidly watching the segment with a look of both abject horror and defeat on his face. I said to him See honey? You’re not the only poor bastard husband who has to earn his pleasure. There are enough of you to warrant an entire Sunrise segment   Now I know some of you may look pityingly on...
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You asked for it – the Poo EXPLOSION!!!

So, yesterday there was poo. Lots of it. A plethora if you will. I don’t believe in much outside my existential being, but I DO believe the Poo Fairy was watching over me yesterday in the form of my husband. Let me explain…. I generally go to Albany (our nearest “shopping centre”, about 90km from home) once a week for G Man’s speech therapy. Whilst there I sometimes take the boys to Maccas for lunch afterwards. It has a good sized indoor play area (I’m sure you know the ones) and a McCafe that have Chai Lattes. Yum. I always do...
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Suck it up Baby!

How do you vacuum?? I have a three tier system. 1. Stuff that MUST be picked up and put away(useful stuff that will be missed)/thrown in the bin as it is too big to vacuum. This stuff is annoying and I often test the limits of what the Dyson will or wont inhale as I am too lazy to actually bend over and pick it up. This step includes CARPERPETUATION –  (kar’pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece or lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it...
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My Food Fight with Point Five

SO, Wednesday night just gone, Point Five and I had our first proper barny since we moved here.  You know the sort, where one of you (usually me) storms out the front door, slamming it indignantly behind you and sulks in the driveway until you realize your partner isn’t coming out as they are righteously fuming as well and there is nothing for it but to eventually skulk back and hope they haven’t locked the door. Yep, one of those ones….. All over one of THESE Does anyone know where I am going with this?? No?? Lemme fill you in! I was at work all...
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How it rolls to go out in our house – sigh…..

So, I posted a picture of our lovely day at the lake a few weeks back.  What I didn’t post was what goes on in our house to get us there. I didn’t think much of it as it is a regular occurrence if we go anywhere as a family or host family occasions, but I am in this mothers group on facebook and one of them was having a gripe over pretty much what happens all the time with us.  What surprised me was how many girls had the same story and how frustrating we all found it to be.  One said that it was...
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